Book I Part IV
As the lion, in our teargarten remembers the nenuphars
of his Nile (shall Ariuz forget Arioun or Boghas the baregams of the Marmarazalles
from Marmeniere?) it may be, tots wearsense full a naggin in twentyg have
sigilposted what in our brievingbust, the besieged bedreamt him stil and
solely of those lililiths undeveiled which hat undone him, gone for age,
and knew not the watchful treachers at his wake, and theirs to stay. Fooi,
fooi, chamermissies! Zeepyzoepy, larcenlads! Zijnzijn Zijnzijn! It may
be, we moest ons hasten selves te declareer it, that he reglimmed? presaw?
the fields of heat and yields of wheat where corngold Ysit? shamed and
shone. It may be, we habben to upseek a bitty door our good townships
courants want we knewt, that with his deepseeing insight (had not
wishing oftebeen but good time wasted), within his patriarchal shamanah,
broadsteyne bove citie (Twillby! Twillby!) he conscious of enemies,
a kingbilly whitehorsed in a Finglas mill, prayed, as he sat on anxious
seat, (kunt ye neat gift mey toe bout a peer saft eyballds!) during that
three and a hellof hours agony of silence, ex profundis malorum,
and bred with unfeigned charity that his wordwounder (an engles to the
teeth who, nomened Nash of Girahash, would go anyold where in the weeping
world on his mottled belly (the rab, the kreeponskneed!) for milk, music
or married missusses) might,mercy to providential benevolences who
hates prudencies astuteness, unfold into the first of a distinguished
dynasty of his posteriors, [075] blackfaced connemaras not of the fold
but elder children of his household, his most besetting of ideas ( pace
his twolve predamanant passions) being the formation, as in more favoured
climes, where the Meadow of Honey is guestfriendly and the Mountain of
Joy receives, of a truly criminal stratum, Hams cribcracking yeggs,
thereby at last eliminating from all classes and masses with directly
derivative decasualisation: sigarius (sic!) vindicat urbes terrorum (sicker!):
and so, to mark a bank taal she arter, the obedience of the citizens elp
the ealth of the ole.
Now gode. Let us leave theories there and
return to heres here. Now hear. Tis gode again. The teak coffin,
Pughglasspanelfitted, feets to the east, was to turn in later, and pitly
patly near the porpus, materially effecting the cause. And this, liever,
is the thinghowe. Any number of conservative public bodies, through a
number of select and other committees having power to add to their number,
before voting themselves and himself, town, port and garrison, by a fit
and proper resolution, following a koorts order of the groundwet, once
for all out of plotty existence, as a forescut, so you maateskippey might
to you cuttinrunner on a neuw pack of klerds, made him, while his body
still persisted, their present of a protem grave in Moyelta of the best
Lough Neagh pattern, then as much in demand among misonesans as the Isle
of Man today among limniphobes. Wacht even! It was in a fairly fishy kettlekerry,
after the Fiannas foreman had taken his handful, enriched with ancient
woods and dear dutchy deeplinns mid which were an old knoll and a troutbeck,
vainyvain of her osiery and a chatty sally with any Wilt or Walt who would
ongle her as Izaak did to the tickle of his rod and watch her waters of
her sillying waters of and there now brown peater arripple (may their
quilt gild lightly over his somnolulutent form!) Whoforyou lies his last,
by the wrath of Bog, like the erst curst Hun in the bed of his treubleu
Donawhu.
Best. This wastohavebeen underground heaven,
or moles paradise which was probably also an inversion of a phallopharos,
intended to foster wheat crops and to ginger up tourist trade (its architecht,
Mgr Peurelachasse, having been obcaecated lest [076] he should petrifake
suchanevver while the contractors Messrs T. A. Birkett and L. O. Tuohalls
were made invulnerably venerable) first in the west, our misterbilder,
Castlevillainous, openly damned and blasted by means of a hydromine, system,Sowan
and Belting, exploded from a reinvented T.N.T. bombingpost up ahoy of
eleven and thirty wingrests (circiter) to sternbooard out of his aerial
thorpeto, Auton Dynamon, contacted with the expectant minefield by tins
of improved ammonia lashed to her shieldplated gunwale, and fused into
tripupcables, slipping through tholse and playing down from the conning
tower into the ground battery fuseboxes, all differing as clocks from
keys since nobody appeared to have the same time of beard, some saying
by their Oorlog it was Sygstryggs to nine, more holding with the Ryan
vogt it was Dane to pfife. He afterwards whaanever his blaetther began
to fail off him and his rough bark was wholly husky and, stoop by stoop,
he neared it (wouldmanspare!) carefully lined the ferroconcrete result
with rotproof bricks and mortar, fassed to fossed, and retired beneath
the heptarchy of his towerettes, the beauchamp, byward, bull and lion,
the white, the wardrobe and bloodied, so encouraging (insteppen, alls
als hats beliefd!) additional useful councils public with hoofd offdealings
which were welholden of ladykants te huur out such as the Breeders
Union, the Guild of Merchants of the Staple et, a.u.c. to present unto
him with funebral pomp, over and above that, a stone slab with the usual
Mac Pelah address of velediction, a very fairworded instance of falsemeaning
adamelegy: We have done ours gohellt with you, Heer Herewhippit, overgiven
it, skidoo!
But thouse and allaboardshoops! Show
coffins, winding sheets, goodbuy bierchepes, cinerary urns, liealoud blasses,
snuffchests, poteentubbs, lacrimal vases, hoodendoses, reekwaterbeckers,
breakmiddles, zootzaks for eatlust, including upyourhealthing rookworst
and meathewersoftened forkenpootsies and for that matter, javel also,
any kind of inhumationary bric au brac for the adornment of his glasstone
honophreum, would, met these trein of konditiens, naturally follow, halas,
in the ordinary course, enabling that roundtheworlder wandelingswight,
did suches pass [077] him, to live all safeathomely the presenile days
of his life of opulence, ancient ere decrepitude, late lents last lenience,
till stuffering stage, whaling away the whole of the while (hypnos chilia
eonion!) lethelulled between explosion and reexplosion (Donnaurwatteur!
Hunderthunder!) from grosskopp to megapod, embalmed, of grand age, rich
in death anticipated.
But abide Zeits sumonserving, rise
afterfall. Blueblitzbolted from there, knowing the hingeworms of the hallmirks
of habitationlesness, buried burrowing in Gehinnon, to proliferate through
all his Unterwealth, seam by seam, sheol om sheol, and revisit our Uppercrust
Sideria of Utilitarios, the divine one, the hoarder hidden propaguting
his plutorpopular progeniem of pots and pans and pokers and puns from
biddenland to boughtenland, the spearway fore the spoorway.
The other spring offensive on the heights
of Abraham may have come about all quite by accidence, Foughtarundser
(for Breedabrooda had at length presuaded him to have himself to be as
septuply buried as the murdered Cian in Finntown), had not been three
monads in his watery grave (what vigilantes and ridings then and spuitwyne
pledges with aardappel frittling!) when portrifaction, dreyfussed as ever,
began to ramp, ramp, ramp, the boys are parching. A hoodenwinkle gave
the signal and a blessing paper freed the flood. Why did the patrizien
make him scares with his gruntens? Because the druiven were muskating
at the door. From both Celtiberian camps (granting at the onset for the
sake of argument that men on the two sides in New South Ireland and Vetera
Uladh, bluemin and pillfaces, during the ferment With the Pope or On the
Pope, had, moors or letts, grant ideas, grunted) all conditions, poor
cons and dives mor, each, of course, on the purely doffensive since the
eternals were owlwise on their side every time, were drawn toowards their
Bellonas Black Bottom, once Woolwhites Waltz (Ohiboh, how
becrimed, becursekissed and bedumbtoit!) some for want of proper feeding
in youth, others already caught in the honourable act of slicing careers
for family and carvers in conjunction; and, if emaciated nough, the person
garrotted may have suggested to whomever he [078] took the ham of, the
plain being involved in darkness, low cirque waggery, nay, even the first
old wugger of himself in the flesh, whiggissimus incarnadined, when falsesighted
by the ifsuchhewas bully on the hill for there had circulated freely fairly
among his opposition the feeling that in so hibernating Massa Ewacka,
who, previous to that demidetached life, had been known of barmicidal
days, cook said, between soups and savours, to get outside his own length
of rainbow trout and taerts atta tarn as no man of woman born, nay could,
like the great crested brebe, devour his threescoreten of roach per lifeday,
ay, and as many minnow a minute (the big mix, may Gibbet choke him!) was,
like the salmon of his ladderleap all this time of totality secretly and
by suckage feeding on his own misplaced fat.
Ladies did not disdain those pagan ironed
times of the firs; city (called after the ugliest Danadune) when a frond
was a friend inneed to carry, as earwigs do their dead, their soil to
the earthball where indeeth we shall calm decline, our legacy unknown.
Venuses were gigglibly temptatrix, vulcans guffawably eruptious and the
whole wives world frockful of fickles. Fact, any human inyon you
liked any erenoon or efter would take her bare godkin out, or an even
pair of hem, (lugod! lugodoo!) and prettily pray with him (or with em
even) everyhe to her taste, long for luck, tapette and tape petter and
take pettest of all. (Tip!) Wells shed woo and wills shes
win but how the deer knowed where shed marry! Arbour, bucketroom,
caravan, ditch? Coach, carriage, wheelbarrow, dungcart?
Kate Strong, a widow (Tiptip!)-she pulls
a lane picture for us, in a dreariodreama setting, glowing and very vidual,
of old dumplan as she nosed it, a homelike cottage of elvanstone with
droppings of biddies, stinkend pusshies, moggies duggies, rotten
witchawubbles, festering rubbages and beggars bullets, if not worse,
sending salmofarious germs in gleefully through the smithereen panes-Widow
Strong, then, as her weaker had turned him to the wall (Tiptiptip!), did
most all the scavenging from good King Hamlaughs gulden dayne though
her lean besom cleaned but sparingly and her bare statement reads that,
[079] there being no macadamised sidetracks on those old nekropolitan
nights in, barring a footbatter, Bryants Causeway, bordered with
speedwell, white clover and sorrel a wood knows, which left off, being
beaten, where the plaintiff was struck, she left down, as scavengers,
who will be scavengers must, her filthdump near the Serpentine in Phornix
Park (at her time called Finewells Keepsacre but later tautaubapptossed
Pats Purge), that dangerfield circling butcherswood where fireworker
oh flaherty engaged a nutter of castlemallards and ah for archer stunneds
turk, all over which fossil footprints, bootmarks, fingersigns, elbowdints,
breechbowls, a. s. o. were all successively traced of a most envolving
description. What subtler timeplace of the weald than such wolfsbelly
castrament to will hide a leabhar from Thursmens brandihands or
a loveletter, lostfully hers, that would be lust on Ma, than then when
ructions ended, than here where race began: and by four hands of forethought
the first babe of reconcilement is laid in its last cradle of hume sweet
hume. Give over it! And no more of it! So pass the pick for child sake!
O men!
For hear Allhighest sprack for krischnians
as for propagana fidies and his nuptial eagles sharped their beaks of
prey: and every morphyl man of us, pome by pome, falls back into this
terrine: as it was let it be, says he! And it is as though where Agni
araflammed and Mithra monished and Shiva slew as mayamutras the obluvial
waters of our noarchic memory withdrew, windingly goharksome, to some
hastyswasty timberman torchpriest, flamenfan, the ward of the wind that
lightened the fire that lay in the wood that Jove bolt, at his rude word.
Posidonius OFluctuary! Lave that bloody stone as it is! What are
you doing your dirty minx and his big treeblock way up your path? Slip
around, you, by the rare of the ministers! And, you, take that barrel
back where you got it, Mac Shanes, and go the way your old one went,
Hatchettsbury Road! And gish! how they gushed away, the pennyfares, a
whole school for scamper, with their sashes flying sish behind them, all
the little pirlypettes! IssylaChapelle! Any lucans, please? [080]
Yes, the viability of vicinals if invisible
is invincible. And we are not trespassing on his corns either. Look at
all the plotsch! Fluminian! If this was Hannibals walk it was Hercules
work. And a hungried thousand of the unemancipated slaved the way. The
mausoleum lies behind us (O Adgigasta, multipopulipater!) and there are
milestones in their cheadmilias faultering along the tramestrack by Brahm
and Anton Hermes! Per omnibus secular seekalarum. Amain. But the past
has made us this present of a rhedarhoad. So more boher OConnell!
Though rainyhidden, youre rhinohide. And if hes not a Romeo
you may scallop your hat. Wereupunder in the fane of Saint Fiacre! Halte!
It was hard by the howes there, plainly
on this disoluded and a buchan cold spot, rupestric then, resurfaced that
now is, that Luttrell sold if Lautrill bought, in the saddle of the Brennans
(now Malpasplace?) pass, versts and versts from true civilisation, not
where his dreams top their traums halt (Beneathere! Benathere!) but where
livland yontide meared with the wilde, saltlea with flood, that the attackler,
a cropatkin, though under medium and between colours with truly native
pluck, engaged the Adversary who had more in his eye than was less to
his leg but whom for plunder sake, he mistook in the heavy rain to be
Oglethorpe or some other ginkus, Parr aparrently, to whom the headandheelless
chickenestegg bore some Michelangiolesque resemblance, making use of sacrilegious
languages to the defect that he would challenge their hemosphores to exterminate
them but he would cannonise the b y b rs life out of him and lay
him out contritely as smart as the b-r had his b-y nightprayers said,
three patrecknocksters and a couplet of hellmuirries (tout est sacré
pour un sacreur, femme à barbe ou hommenourrice) at the same time,
so as to plugg well let the blubbywail ghoats out of him, catching holst
of an oblong bar he had and with which he usually broke furnitures he
rose the stick at him. The boarder incident prerepeated itself. The pair
(whethertheywere Nippoluono engaging WeiLingTaou or de Razzkias trying
to reconnoistre the general Boukeleff, man may not say), struggled apairently
for some considerable time, (the cradle rocking equally [081] to one and
oppositely from the other on its law of capture and recapture), under
the All In rules around the booksafe, fighting like purple top and tipperuhry
Swede, (Secremented Servious of the Divine Zeal!) and in the course of
their tussle the toller man, who had opened his bully bowl to beg, said
to the miner who was carrying the worm (a handy term for the portable
distillery which consisted of three vats, two jars and several bottles
though we purposely say nothing of the stiff, both parties having an interest
in the spirits): Let me go, Pautheen! I hardly knew ye. Later on, after
the solstitial pause for refleshmeant, the same man (or a different and
younger him of the same ham) asked in the vermicular with a very oggly
chewchingrin: Was six victolios fifteen pigeon takee offa you, tell he
me, stlongfella, by pickypocky ten to foul months behindaside? There were
some further collidabanter and severe tries to convert for the best part
of an hour and now a woden affair in the shape of a webley (we at once
recognise our old friend Ned of so many illortemporate letters) fell from
the intruser who, as stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that
christchurch organ, (did the imnage of Girl Cloud Pensive flout above
them light young charm, in ribbons and pigtail?) whereupon became friendly
and, saying not his shirt to tear, to know wanted, joking and knobkerries,
all aside laying, if his change companion who stuck still tothe invention
of his strongbox, with a tenacity corrobberating their mutual tenitorial
rights, happened to have the loots change of a tenpound crickler about
him at the moment, addling that hap so, he would pay him back the six
vics odd, do you see, out of that for what was taken on the man of samples
last Yuni or Yuly, do you follow me, Capn? To this the other, Billi with
the Boule, who had mummed and mauled up to that (for he was hesitency
carried to excelcism) rather amusedly replied: Woowoo would you be grossly
surprised, Hill, to learn that, as it so happens, I honestly have not
such a thing as the loo, as the least chance of a tinpanned crackler anywhere
about me at the present mohomoment but I believe I can see my way, as
you suggest, it being Yuletide or Yuddanfest and as its mad nuts,
son, for you [082] when its hatters hares, mon, for me, to
advance you something like four and sevenpence between hopping and trapping
which you might just as well have, boy baches, to buy J. J. and S. with.
There was a minute silence before memorys fires rekindling
and then. Heart alive! Which at very first wind of gay gay and whiskwigs
wicks ears pricked up, the starving gunman, strike him pink, became
strangely calm and forthright sware by all his lards porsenal that the
thorntree of sheol might ramify up his Sheofon to the lux apointlex but
he would go good to him suntime marx my word fort, for a chip off the
old Flint, (in the Nichtian glossery which purveys aprioric roots for
aposteriorious tongues this is nat language at any sinse of the world
and one might as fairly go and kish his sprogues as fail to certify whether
the wartrophy eluded at some lives earlier was that somethink like a jug,
to what, a coctable) and remarxing in languidoily, seemingly much more
highly pleased than tongue could tell at this opening of a lifetime and
the foretaste of the Dun Bank pearlmothers and the boy to wash down which
he would feed to himself in the Ruadh Cow at Tallaght and then into the
Good Woman at Ringsend and after her inat Conways Inn at Blackrock
and, first to fall, cursed be all, where appetite would keenest be, atte,
funeral fare or fun fain real, Adam and Eves in Quantity Street
by the grace of gamy queen Tailte, her will and testament: You stunning
little southdowner! Id know you anywhere, Declaney, let me truthfully
tell you in or out of the lexinction of life and who the hell else, be
your blanche patch on the boney part! Goalball Ive struck this daylit
dielate night of nights, by golly! My hat, you have some bully German
grit, sundowner! He spud in his faust (axin); he toped the raw best (pardun);
he poked his pick (a tip is a tap): and he tucked his friends leave.And,
with French hen or the portlifowlium of hastes and leisures, about to
continue that,the queer mixture exchanged the pax in embrace or poghue
puxy as practised between brothers of the same breast, hillelulia, killelulia,
allenalaw, and, having ratified before the god of the day their torgantruce
which belittlers have schmallkalled the treatyng to cognac, turning his
fez menialstrait in the [083] direction of Moscas, he first got rid of
a few mitsmillers and hurooshoos and levanted off with tubular jurbulance
at a bulls run over the assback bridge, spitting his teeths on rooths,with
the seven and four in danegeld and their humoral hurlbat or other uncertain
weapon of lignum vitae, but so evermore rhumanasant of a toboggan poop,
picked up to keep some crowplucking appointment with some rival rialtos
anywheres between Pearidge and the Littlehorn while this poor delaney,
who they left along with the confederate fender behind and who albeit
ballsbluffed, bore up wonderfully wunder all of it with a whole number
of plumsized contusiums, plus alasalah bruised coccyx, all over him, reported
the occurance in the best way he could, to the flabbergaze of the whole
lab, giving the Paddybanners the military salute as for his exilicys
the ODaffy, in justifiable hope that, in nobiloroman review of the
hugely sitisfactuary conclusium of their negotiations and the jugglemonkysh
agripment deinderivative, some lotion or fomentation of poppyheads would
be jennerously exhibited to the parts, at the nearest watchhouse in Vicar
Lane, the white ground of his face all covered with digonally redcrossed
nonfatal mammalian blood as proofpositive of the seriousness of his character
and that he was bleeding in self defience (stanch it!) from the nostrils,
lips, pavilion and palate, while some of his hitters hairs had been
pulled off his knuts head by Colt though otherwise his allround
health appeared to be middling along as it proved most fortunate that
not one of the two hundred and six bones and five hundred and one muscles
in his corso was a whit the whorse for her whacking. Herwho?
Nowthen, leaving clashing ash, brawn and
muscle and brassmade to oust earthernborn and rockcrystal to wreck isinglass
but wurming along gradually for our savings backtowards motherwaters so
many miles from bank and Dublin stone (olympiading even till the eleventh
dynasty to reach that thuddysickend Hamlaugh) and to the question of boneys
unlawfully obtaining a pierced paraflamme and claptrap fireguard there
crops out the still more salient point of the politish leanings and town
pursuits of our forebeer, El Don De Dunelli, (may his ship thicked stick
[084] in the bottol of the river and all his crewsers stock locked in
the burral of the seas!) who, when within the black of your toenail, sir,
of being mistakenly ambushed by one of the uddahveddahs, and as close
as made no matter, mam, to being kayoed offhand when the hyougono heckler
with the Peter the Painter wanted to hole him, was consistently practising
the first of the primary and imprescriptible liberties of the pacific
subject by circulating (be British, boys to your bellybone and chuck a
chum a chance!) alongst one of our umphrohibited semitary thrufahrts,
open to buggy and bike, to walk, Wellington Park road, with the curb or
quakers quacknostrum under his auxter and his alpenstuck in his
redhand, a highly commendable exercise, or, number two of our acta legitima
plebeia, on the brink (beware to baulk a man at his will!) of taking place
upon a public seat, to what, bare by Butts, most easterly (but all
goes west!) of blackpool bridges, as a public protest and naturlikevice,
without intent to annoy either, being praisegood thankfully for the wrathbereaved
ringdove and the fearstung boaconstrictor and all the more right jollywell
pleased, which he was, at having other peoples weather.
But to return to the atlantic and Phenitia
Proper. As if that were not to be enough for anyone but little headway,
if any, was made in solving the wasnottobe crime cunundrum when a child
of Maam, Festy King, of a family long and honourably associated with the
tar and feather industries, who gave an address in old plomansch Mayo
of the Saxons in the heart of a foulfamed potheen district, was subsequently
haled up at the Old Bailey on the calends of Mars, under an incompatibly
framed indictment of both the counts (from each equinoxious points of
view, the one fellows fetch being the other follows person)
that is to see, flying cushats out of his ouveralls and making fesses
immodst his forces on the field. Oyeh! Oyeh! When the prisoner, soaked
in methylated, appeared in dry dock, appatently ambrosiaurealised, like
Kersses Korduroy Karikature, wearing, besides stains, rents and
patches, his fight shirt, straw braces, souwester and a policemans
corkscrew trowswers, all out of the true (as he had purposely torn up
all his cymtrymanx bespokes in the mamertime), deposing for [085] his
exution with all the fluors of sparse in the royal Irish vocabulary how
the whole padderjagmartin tripiezite suet and all the sulfeit of copperas
had fallen off him quatz unaccountably like the chrystalisations of Alum
on Even while he was trying for to stick fire to himcell, (in feacht he
was dripping as he found upon stripping for a pipkin ofmalt as he feared
the coold raine) it was attempted by the crown (P.C. Robort) to show that
King, elois Crowbar, once known as Meleky, impersonating a climbing boy,
rubbed some pixes of any luvial peatsmoor oer his face, plucks and
pussas, with a clanetourf as the best means of disguising himself and
was to the middlewhite fair in Mudford of a Thoorsday, feishts of Peeler
and Pole, under the illassumed names of Tykingfest and Rabworc picked
by him and Anthony out of a tellafun book, ellegedly with a pedigree pig
(unlicensed) and a hyacinth. They were on that sea by the plain of Ir
nine hundred and ninetynine years and they never cried crack or ceased
from regular paddlewicking till that they landed their two and a trifling
selves, amadst camel and ass, greybeard and suckling, priest and pauper,
matrmatron and merrymeg, into the meddle of the mudstorm. The gathering,
convened by the Irish Angricultural and Prepostoral Ouraganisations, to
help the Irish muck to look his brother dane in the face and attended
thanks to Larry by large numbers, of christies and jews totems,
tospite of the deluge, was distinctly of a scattery kind when the ballybricken
he could get no good of, after cockofthewalking through a few fancyfought
mains ate some of the doorweg, the pikey later selling the gentleman ratepayer
because she, Francies sister, that is to say,ate a whole side of
his (the animals) sty, on a struggle Street, Qui Sta Troia, in order
to pay off, hiss or lick, six doubloons fifteen arrears of his, the villains
not the rumblers rent.
Remarkable evidence was given, anon, by
an eye, ear, nose and throat witness, whom Wesleyan chapelgoers suspected
of being a plain clothes priest W.P., situate at Nullnull, Medical Square,
who, upon letting down his rice and peacegreen coverdisk and having been
sullenly cautioned against yawning while [086] being grilled, smiled (he
had had a onebumper at parting from Mrs Molroe in the morning) and stated
to his eliciter under his morse mustaccents (gobbless!) that he slept
with a bonafides and that he would be there to remember the filth of November,
hatinaring, rowdy O, which, with the jiboulees of Juno and the dates of
ould lanxiety, was going, please the Rainmaker, to decembs within the
ephemerides of profane history, all one with Tournay, Yetstoslay and Temorah,
and one thing which would pigstickularly strike a person of such sorely
tried observational powers as Sam, him and Moffat, though theirs not to
reason why, the striking thing about it was that he was patrified to see,
hear, taste and smell, as his time of night, how Hyacinth ODonnell,
B.A., described in the calendar as a mixer and wordpainter, with part
of a sivispacem (Gaeltact for dungfork) on the fair green at the hour
of twentyfour oclock sought (the bullycassidy of the friedhoffer!)
to sack, sock, stab and slaughter singlehanded another two of the old
kings, Gush Mac Gale and Roaring OCrian, Jr., both changelings,
unlucalised, of no address and in noncommunicables, between him and whom,
ever since wallops before the Mise of Lewes, bad blood existed on the
ground of the boers trespass on the bull or because he firstparted
his polarbeeber hair in twoways, or because they were creepfoxed andt
grousuppers over a nippy in a noveletta, or because they could not say
meace, (mute and daft) meathe. The litigants, he said, local congsmen
and donalds, kings of the arans and the dalkeys, kings of mud and tory,
even the goat king of Killorglin, were egged on by their supporters in
the shape of betterwomen with bowstrung hair of Carrothagenuine ruddiness,
waving crimson petties and screaming from Isods towertop. There
were cries from the thicksets in court and from the macdublins on the
bohernabreen of: Mind the bank from Banagher, Mick, sir! Prodooce ODonner.
Ay! Exhibit his relics! Bu! Use the tongue mor! Give lip less! But it
oozed out in Deadmans Dark Scenery Court through crossexanimation
of the casehardened testis that when and where that knife of knifes the
treepartied ambush was laid (roughly spouting around half hours twixt
dusk in dawn, [087] by Waterhoses Meddle Europeic Time, near Stop
and Think, high chief evervirens and only abfalltree in auld the land)
there was not as much light from the widowed moon as would dim a childs
altar. The mixer, accordingly, was bluntly broached, and in the best basel
to boot, as to whether he was one of those lucky cocks for whom the audiblevisiblegnosibleedible
world existed. That he was only too cognitively conatively cogitabundantly
sure of it because, living, loving, breathing and sleeping morphomelosophopancreates,
as he most significantly did, whenever he thought he heard he saw he felt
he made a bell clipperclipperclipperclipper. Whether he was practically
sure too of his lugs and truies names in this king and blouseman business?
That he was pediculously so. Certified? As cad could be. Be lying! Be
the lonee I will. It was Morbus O Somebody? AQuite. Szerdays
Son? A satyr in weddens. And how did the greeneyed mister arrive at the
B.A.? That it was like his poll. A crossgrained trapper with murty odd
oogs, awflorated ares, inquiline nase and a twithcherous mouph? He would
be. Who could bit you att to a tenyerdfuul when aastalled? Ballera jobbera.
Some majar bore too? Iguines. And with tumblerous legs, redipnominated
Helmingham Erchenwyne Rutter Egbert Crumwall Odin Maximus Esme Saxon Esa
Vercingetorix Ethelwulf Rupprecht Ydwalla Bentley Osmund Dysart Yggdrasselmann?
Holy Saint Eiffel, the very phoenix! It was Chudley Magnall once more
between the deffodates and the dumb scene? The two childspies waapreesing
him auza de Vologue but the renting of his rock was from the three wicked
Vuncouverers Forests bent down awhits, arthou sure? Yubeti, Cumbilum comes!
One of the oxmens thingabossers, hvad? And had he been refresqued
by the founts of bounty playing there is a pain aleland in Longs
gourgling barral? A loss of Lordedward and a lack of sirphilip a surgeonet
showeradown could suck more gargling bubbles out of the five lamps in
Portterands praise. Wirrgeling and maries? As whose wouldnt,
laving his leaftime in Blackpool. But, of course, he could call himself
Tem, too, if he had time to? You butt he could anytom. When he pleased?
Win and [081] place. A stoker temptated by evesdripping aginst the driver
who was a witness as well? Sacred avatar, how the devil did they guess
it! Two dreamyums in one dromium? Yes and no error. And both as like as
a duel of lentils? Peacisely. So he was pelted out of the coram populo,
was he? Be the powers that be he was. The prince in principel should not
expose his person? Macchevuole! Rooskayman kamerad? Sooner Gallwegian
he would say. Not unintoxicated, fair witness? Drunk as a fishup. Askt
to whether she minded whither he smuked? Not if he barkst into phlegms.
Anent his ajaciulations to his Crosscann Lorne, cossa? It was corso in
cursu on coarser again. The gracious miss was we not doubt sensible how
yellowatty on the forx was altered? That she esually was, ODowd
me not! As to his religion, if any? It was the seeyouSunday sort. Exactly
what he meant by a pederast prig? Bejacobs, just a gent who prayed
his lent. And if middleclassed. portavorous was a usual beast? Bynight
as useful as a vomit to a shorn man. If he had rognarised dtheir gcourts
marsheyls? Dthat nday in ndays he had. Lindendelly, coke or skilllies
spell me gart without a gate? Harlyadrope. The grazing rights (Mrs Magistra
Martinetta) expired with the expiry of the goats sire, if they were
not mistaken? That he exactly could not tell the worshipfuls but his motherinwaders
had the recipis for the price of the coffin and that he was there to tell
them that herself was the velocipede that could tell them kitcat. A maundarin
tongue in a pounderin jowl? Father ourder about the mathers of prenanciation.
Distributary endings? And we recommends. Quare hircum? No answer. Unde
gentium fe . . . ? No ah. Are you not danzzling on the age of a vulcano?
Siar, I am deed. And how olld of him? He was intendant to study pulu.
Which was meant in a shirt of two shifts macoghamade or up Finn, threehatted
ladder? That a head in thighs under a bush at the sunface would bait a
serpent to a millrace through the heather. Arm bird colour defdum ethnic
fort perharps? Sure and glomsk handy jotalpheson as well. Hokey jasons,
then, in a pigeegeeses? On a pontiffs order as ture as theres
an ital on atac. As a gololy bit to joss? Leally and tululy. But, why
this hankowchaff and [089] whence this second tone, sonyetsun? He had
the cowtaw in his buxers flay of face. So this that Solasistras, setting
odds evens at defiance, took the laud from Labouriter? What displaced
Tob, Dilke and Halley, not been greatly in love with the game. And, changing
the venders, from the kings head to the republicans arms,
as to the pugnaxities evinxed from flagfall to antepost during the effrays
round fatherthymes beckside and the regents in the plantsown raining,
with the skiddystars and the morkernwindup, how they appealed to him then?
That it was wildfires night on all the bettygallaghers. Mickmichaels
soords shrieking shrecks through the wilkinses and neckanicholas
toastingforks pricking prongs up the tunnybladders. Let there be fight?
And there was. Foght. On the site of the Angels, you said? Guinneys
Gap, he said, between what they said and the pussykitties. In the middle
of the garth, then? That they mushnt toucht it. The devoted couple
was or were only two disappainted solicitresses on the job of the unfortunate
class on Saturns mountain fort? That was about it, jah! And Camellus
then said to Gemellus: I should know you? Parfaitly. And Gemellus then
said to Camellus: Yes, your brother? Obsolutely. And if it was all about
that, egregious sir? About that and the other. If he was not alluding
to the whole in the wall? That he was when he was not eluding from the
whole of the woman. Briefly, how such beginall finally struck him now?
Like the crack that bruck the bank in Multifarnham. Whether he fell in
with what they meant? Cursed that he suppoxed he did. Thos Thoris, Thomars
Thom? The rudacist rotter in Roebuckdom. Surtopical? And subhuman. If
it was, in yappanoise language, ach bad clap? Oo! Ah! Augs and ohrs with
Rhian Okehley to put it tertianly, we wrong? Shocking! Such as turly
pearced our reallys that he might, that he might never, that he
might never that night? Treely and rurally. Bladyughfoulmoecklen-burgwhurawhorascortastrumpapornanennykocksapastippatappatupperstrippuckputtanach,
eh? You have it alright.
Meirdreach an Oincuish! But a new complexion
was put upon the matter when to the perplexedly uncondemnatory bench (whereon
punic judgeship strove with penal law) the senior [090] king of all, Pegger
Festy, as soon as the outer layer of stucckomuck had been removed at the
request of a few live jurors, declared in a loudburst of poesy, through
his Brythonic interpreter on his oath, mhuith peisth mhuise as fearra
bheura muirre hriosmas, whereas take notice be the relics of the bones
of the story bouchal that was ate be Cliopatrick (the sow) princess of
parked porkers, afore God and all their honours and kings commons
that, what he would swear to the Tierney of Dundalgan or any other Tierney,
yif live thurkells folloged him about sure that was no steal and that,
nevertheless, what was deposited from that eyebold earbig noseknaving
gutthroat, he did not fire a stone either before or after he was born
down and up to that time. And, incidentalising that they might talk about
Markarthy or they might walk to Baalastartey or they might join the nabour
party and come on to Porterfeud this the sockdologer had the neck to endorse
with the head bowed on him over his outturned noreaster by protesting
to his lipreaders with a justbeencleaned barefacedness, abeam of moonlights
hope, in the same trelawney what he would impart, pleas bench. to the
Llwyd Josus and the gentlemen in Jurys and the four of Masterers
who had been all those yarns yearning for that good one about why he left
Dublin, that, amreeta beaker coddling doom, as an Inishman was as good
as any cantonnatal, if he was to parish by the market steak before the
dorming of the mawn, he skuld never ask to see sight or light of this
world or the other world or any either world, of TyrenanOg, as true as
he was there in that jackabox that minute, or wield or wind (no thanks
tyous!) the inexousthausthible wassailhorn tot of iskybaush the
hailth up the wailth of the endknown abgod of the fire of the moving way
of the hawks with his heroes in Warhorror if ever in all his exchequered
career he up or lave a chancery hand to take or throw the sign of a mortal
stick or stone at man, yoelamb or salvation army either before or after
being puptised down to that most holy and every blessed hour. Here, upon
the halfkneed castleknockers attempting kithoguishly to lilt his
holymess the paws and make the sign of the Roman Godhelic faix, (Xaroshie,
zdrst!-in his excitement the laddo had [091] broken exthro Castilian into
which the whole audience perseguired and pursuited him olla podrida) outbroke
much yellachters from owners in the heall (Ha!) in which, under the mollification
of methaglin, the testifighter reluctingly, but with ever so ladylike
indecorum, joined. (Ha! Ha!)
The hilariohoot of Peggers Windup
cumjustled as neatly with the tristitone of the Wet Pinters as were
they isce et ille equals of opposites, evolved by a onesame power of nature
or of spirit, iste, as the sole condition and means of its himundher manifestation
and polarised for reunion by the symphysis of their antipathies. Distinctly
different were their duasdestinies. Whereas the maidies of the bar, (a
pairless trentene, a lunarised score) when the eranthus myrrmyrred: Showm
the Posed: fluttered and flattered around the willingly pressed, nominating
him for the swiney prize, complimenting him, the captivating youth, on
his having all his senses about him, stincking thyacinths through his
curls (O feen! O deur!) and bringing busses to his cheeks, their masculine
Oirisher Rose (his neece cleur!), and legando round his nice new neck
for him and pizzicagnoling his woolywags, with their dindy dandy sugar
de candy mechree me postheen flowns courier to belive them of all his
untiring young dames and send treats in their times. Ymen. But it was
not unobserved of those presents, their worships, how, of one among all,
her deputised to defeme him by the Lunar Sisters Celibacy Club,
a lovelooking leapgirl, all all alonely, Gentia Gemma of the Makegiddyculling
Reeks, he, wan and pale in his unmixed admiration, seemed blindly, mutely,
tastelessly, tactlessly, innamorate with heruponhim in shining aminglement,
the shaym of his hisu shifting into the shimmering of her hers, (youthsy,
beautsy, hees her chap and sheyll tell memmas when she gays
whom) till the wild wishwish of her sheeshea melted most musically mid
Ihe dark deepdeep of his shayshaun.
And whereas distracted (for was not just
this in effect which had just caused that the effect of that which it
had caused to occur?) the four justicers laid their wigs together, Untius,
Muncius, Punchus and Pylax but could do no worse than promulgate [092]
their standing verdict of Nolans Brumans whereoneafter King, having murdered
all the English he knew, picked out his pockets and left the tribunal
scotfree, trailing his Tommeylommeys tunic in his hurry, thereinunder
proudly showing off the blink patch to his britgits to prove himself (ant
plase yous!) a rael genteel. To the Switz bobbyguards curial but
courtlike: Commodore valley O hairy, Arthre jennyrosy?: the firewaterloover
returted with such a vinesmelling fortytudor ages rawdownhams tanyouhide
as would the latten stomach even of a tumass equinous (we were prepared
for the chaps clap cap, the accent, but, took us as, by surprise
and now were geshing it like gush gash from a burner!) so that all
the twofromthirty advocatesses within echo, pulling up their briefs at
the krigkry: Shun the Punman!: safely and soundly soccered that fenemine
Parish Poser, (how dare he!) umprumptu rightoway hames, much to his thanks,
gratiasagam, to all the wrong donatrices, biss Drinkbattles Dingy
Dwellings where (for like your true venuson Esau he was dovetimid as the
dears at Bottome) he shat in (zoo), like the muddy goalbind who he was
(dun), the chassetitties belles conclaiming: You and your gift of your
gaft of your garbage abaht our Farvver! and gaingridando: Hon! Verg! Nau!
Putor! Skam! Schams! Shames!
And so it all ended. Artha kama dharma
moksa. Ask Kavya for the kay. And so everybody heard their plaint and
all listened to their plause. The letter! The litter! And the soother
the bitther! Of eyebrow pencilled, by lipstipple penned. Borrowing a word
and begging the question and stealing tinder and slipping like soap. From
dark Rasa Lane a sigh and a weep, from Lesbia Looshe the beam in her eye,
from lone Coogan Barry his arrow of song, from Sean Kellys anagrim
a blush at the name, from I am the Sullivan that trumpeting tramp, from
Suffering Dufferin the Sit of her Style, from Kathleen May Vernon her
Mebbe fair efforts, from Fillthepot Curran his scotchlove machreether,
from hymn Op. 2 Phil Adolphos the weary O, the leery, O, from Samyouwill
Leaver or Damyouwell Lover thatjolly old molly bit or that bored saunter
by, from Timm Finn agains weak tribes, loss of strenghth to his
sowheel, from the wedding [093] on the greene, agirlies, the gretnass
of joyboys, from Pat Mullen, Tom Mallon, Dan Meldon, Don Maldon a slickstick
picnic made in Moate by Muldoons. The solid man saved by his sillied woman.
Crackajolking away like a hearse on fire. The elm that whimpers at the
top told the stone that moans when stricken. Wind broke it. Wave bore
it. Reed wrote of it. Syce ran with it. Hand tore it and wild went war.
Hen trieved it and plight pledged peace. It was folded with cunning, sealed
with crime, uptied by a harlot, undone by a child. It was life but was
it fair? It was free but was it art? The old hunks on the hill read it
to perlection. It made ma make merry and sissy so shy and rubbed some
shine off Shem and put some shame into Shaun. Yet Una and Ita spill famine
with drought and Agrippa, the propastored, spells tripulations in his
threne. Ah, furchte fruchte, timid Danaides! Ena milo melomon, frai is
frau and swee is too, swee is two when swoo is free, ana mala woe is we!
A pair of sycopanties with amygdaleine eyes, one old obster lumpky pumpkin
and three meddlars on their slies. And that was how framm Sin fromm Son,
acity arose, finfin funfun, a sitting arrows. Now tell me, tell me, tell
me then!
What was it?
A
!
?
0!
So there you are now there they were, when
all was over again, the four with them, setting around upin their judges
chambers, in the muniment room, of their marshalsea, under the suspices
of Lally, around their old traditional tables of the law like Somany Solans
to talk it over rallthesameagain. Well and druly dry. Suffering law the
dring. Accourting to kings evelyns. So help her goat and kiss the
bouc. Festives and highajinks and jintyaun and her beetyrossy bettydoaty
and not to forget now aduna odarnel. The four of them and
thank court now there were no more of them. So pass the push for port
sake. Be it soon. Ah ho! And do you remember, Singabob, the badfather,
the same, the great Howdoyoucallem, and his old nickname, Dirty Daddy
Pantaloons, in his monopoleums, behind the war of the two roses, with
Michael Victory, the sheemens preester, before [094] he caught his
paper dispillsation from the poke, old Minace and Minster York? Do I mind?
I mind the gush off the mon like Ballybock manure works on a tradewinds
day. And the OMoyly gracies and the OBriny rossies chaffing
him bluchface and playing him pranks. How do you do, todo, North Mister?
Get into my way! Ah dearome forsailoshe! Gone over the bays! When ginabawdy
meadabawdy! Yerra, why would he heed that old gasometer with his hooping
coppin and his dyinboosycough and all the birds of the southside after
her, Minxy Cunningham, their dear divorcee darling, jimmies and jonnies
to be her jo? Hold hard. Theres three other corners to our isles
cork float. Sure, tis well I can telesmell him H2 C E3 that would
take a townships breath away! Gob and I nose him too well as I do
meself, heaving up the Kay Wall by the 32 to II with his limelooking horsebags
full of sesameseed, the Whiteside Kaffir, and his saymans effluvium
and his scentpainted voice, puffing out his thundering big brown cabbage!
Pa! Thawt Im glad a gull for his pawsdeen fiunn! Goborro, sez he,
Lankyshied! Gobugga ye, sez I! O breezes! I sniffed that lad long before
anyone. It was when I was in my farfather out at the west and she and
myself, the redheaded girl, firstnighting down Sycomore Lane. Fine feelplay
we had of it mid the kissabetts frisking in the kool kurkle dusk of the
lushiness. My perfume of the pampas, says she (meaning me) putting out
her netherlights, and Id sooner one precious sip at your pure mountain
dew than enrich my acquaintance with that big brewers belch.
And so they went on, the fourbottle men,
the analists, unguam and nunguam and lunguam again, their anschluss about
her whosebefore and his whereafters and how she was lost away away in
the fern and how he was founded deap on deep in anear, and the rustlings
and the twitterings and the raspings and the snappings and the sighings
and the paintings and the ukukuings and the (hist!) the springapartings
and the (hast!) the bybyscuttlings and all the scandalmunkers and the
pure craigs that used to be (up) that time living and lying and rating
and riding round Nunsbelly Square. And all the buds in the bush. And the
laugh-[095]ing jackass. Harik! Harik! Harik! The rose is white in the
darik! And Sunfellas nose has got rhinoceritis from haunting the
roes in the parik! So all rogues lean to rhyme. And contradrinking themselves
about Lillytrilly law pon hilly and Mrs Niall of the Nine Corsages and
the old markiss their besterfar, and, arrah, sure there was never a marcus
at all at all among the manlies and dear Sir Armoury, queer Sir Rumoury,
and the old house by the churpelizod, and all the goings on so very wrong
long before when they were going on retreat, in the old gammeldags, the
four of them, in Miltons Park under lovely Father Whisperer and
making her love with his stuffstuff in the languish of flowers and feeling
to find was she mushymushy, and wasnt that vely both of them, the
saucicissters, a drahereen o machree!, and (peep!) meeting waters most
improper (peepette!) ballround the garden, trickle trickle trickle triss,
please, miman, may I go flirting? farmers gone with a groom and how they
used her, mused her, licksed her and cuddled. I differ with ye! Are you
sure of yourself now? Youre a liar, excuse me! I will not and youre
another! And Lully holding their breach of the peace for them. Pool loll
Lolly! To give and to take! And to forego the pasht! And all will be forgotten!
Ah ho! It was too too bad to be falling out about her kindness pet and
the shape of O O O O O O O O Ourangs time. Well, all right, Lelly.
And shakeahand. And schenkusmore. For Craig sake. Be it suck.
Well?
Well, even should not the framing up of
such figments in the evidential order bring the true truth to light as
fortuitously as a dim seers setting of a starchart might (heaven
helping it!) uncover the nakedness of an unknown body in the fields of
blue or as forehearingly as the sibspeeches of all mankind have foliated
(earth seizing them!) from the root of some funners stotter all
the soundest sense to be found immense our special mentalists now holds
(securus iudicat orbis terrarum) that by such playing possum our hagious
curious encestor bestly saved his brush with his posterity, you, charming
coparcenors, us, heirs of his tailsie. Gundogs of all breeds were beagling
with renounced urbiandor [096] bic bugles, hot to run him, given law,
on a scent breasthigh, keen for the worry. View! From his holt outratted
across the Juletides genial corsslands of Humfries Chase from Mullinahob
and Peacockstown, then bearing right upon Tankardstown, the outlier, a
white noelan which Mr Lnwensteil Fitz Urses basset beaters had first
misbadgered for a bruin of some swart, led bayers the run, then through
Raystown and Horlockstown and, louping the loup, to Tankardstown again.
Ear canny hare for doubling through Cheeverstown they raced him, through
Loughlinstown and Nutstown to wind him by the Boolies. But from the good
turn when he last was lost, check, upon Ye Hill of Rut in full winter
coat with ticker pads, pointing for his rooming house his old nordest
in his rolltoproyal hessians a deaf fuchsers volponism hid him close
in covert, miraculously ravenfed and buoyed up, in rumer, reticule, onasum
and abomasum, upon (may Allbrewham have his mead!) the creamclotted sherriness
of cinnamon syllabub, Mikkelraved, Nikkelsaved. Hence hounds hied home.
Preservative perseverance in the reeducation of his intestines was the
rebuttal by whilk he sort of git the big bulge on the whole bunch of spasoakers,
dieting against glues and gravies, in that sometime prestreet protown.
Vainly violence, virulence and vituperation sought wellnigh utterly to
attax and abridge, to derail and depontify, to enrate and inroad, to ongoad
and unhume the great shipping mogul and underlinen overlord.
But the spoil of hesitants, the spell of
hesitency. His atake is it ashe, tittery taw tatterytail, hasitense humponadimply,
heyheyheyhey a winceywencky.
Assembly men murmured. Reynard is slow!
One feared for his days. Did there yawn?
Twas his stommick. Eruct? The libber. A gush? From his visuals.
Pung? Delivver him, orelode! He had laid violent hands on himself, it
was brought in Fuggers Newsletter, lain down, all in,fagged out,
with equally melancholy death. For the triduum of Saturnalia his goatservant
had paraded hiz willingsons in the Forum while the jenny infanted the
lass to be greeted raucously (the Yardstated) with houx and epheus and
measured with missiles too from [097] a hundred of manhood and a wimmering
of weibes. Big went the bang: then wildewide was quiet: a report: silence:
last Fama put it under ether. The noase or the loal had dreven him blem,
blem, stun blem. Sparks flew. He had fled again (open shunshema!) this
country of exile, sloughed off,sidleshomed via the subterranean shored
with bedboards, stowed away and ankered in a dutch bottom tank, the Arsa,
hod S.S. Finlandia, and was even now occupying, under an islamitic newhame
in his seventh generation, a physical body Cornelius Magraths (badoldkarakter,
commonorrong canbung) in Asia Major, where as Turk of the theater (first
house all flatty: the king, eleven sharps) he had bepiastered the buikdanseuses
from the opulence of his omnibox while as arab at the streetdoor he bepestered
the bumbashaws for the alms of a paras pence. Wires hummed. Peacefully
general astonishment assisted by regrettitude had put a term till his
existence: he saw the family saggarth, resigned, put off his remainders,
was recalled and scrapheaped by the Maker. Chirpings crossed. An infamous
private ailment (vulgovarioveneral) had claimed endright, closed his vicious
circle, snap. Jams jarred. He had walked towards the middle of an ornamental
lilypond when innebriated up to the point where braced shirts meet knickerbockers,
as wangfish daring the buoyant waters, when rodmens firstaiding
hands had rescued un from very possibly several feel of demifrish water.
Mush spread. On Umbrella Street where he did drinks from a pumps a kind
workman, Mr Whitlock, gave him a piece of wood. What words of power were
made fas between them, ekenames and auchnomes, acnomina ecnumina? That,
O that, did Hansard tell us, would gar ganz Dubs ear wag in every
pub of all the citta! Batty believes a baton while Hogan hears a hod yet
Heer prefers a punsil shapner and Cope and Bull go cup and ball. And the
Cassidy-Craddock rome and reme round eer a wiege neer a waage
is still immer and immor awagering over it,a cradle with a care in it
or a casket with a kick behind. Toties testies quoties questies. The war
is in words and the wood is the world. Maply me, willowy we, hickory he
and yew yourselves. Howforhim chirrupeth evereach [098] bird! From golddawn
glory to glowworm gleam. We were lowquacks did we not tacit turn. Elsewere
there here no concern of the Guinnesses. But only the ruining of the rain
has heard. Estout pourporteral! Cracklings cricked. A human pest cycling
(pist!) and recycling (past!) about the sledgy streets, here he was (pust!)
again! Morse nuisance noised. He was loose at large and (Oh baby!) might
be anywhere when a disguised exnun, of huge standbuild and masculine manners
in her fairly fat forties, Carpulenta Gygasta, hattracted hattention by
harbitrary conduct with a homnibus. Aerials buzzed to coastal listeners
of an oertax bror collectors budget, fullybigs, sporran, tie, tuft,
tabard and bloody antichill cloak, its tailors (Baernfathers)
tab reading V.P.H., found nigh Scaldbrothars Hole, and divers shivered
to think what kaind of beast, wolves, croppiss or fourpenny friars,
had devoured him. C. W. cast wide. Hvidfinns lyk, drohneth svertgleam,
Valkir lockt. On his pinksirs postern, the boys had it, at Whitweekend
had been nailed an inkedup name and title, inscribed in the national cursives,
accelerated, regressive, filiform, turreted and envenomoloped in piggotry:
Move up. Mumpty! Mike room for Rumpty! By order, Nickekellous Plugg; and
this go, no pentecostal jest about it, how gregarious his race soever
or skilful learned wise cunning knowledgable clear profound his saying
fortitudo fraught or prudentiaproven, were he chief, count, general, fieldmarshal,
prince, king or Myles the Slasher in his person, with a moliamordhar mansion
in the Breffnian empire and a place of inauguration on the hill of Tullymongan,
there had been real murder, of the rayheallach royghal raxacraxian variety,
the MacMahon chaps, it was, that had done him in. On the fidd of Verdor
the rampart combatants had left him lion with his dexter handcoup wresterected
in a pureede paumee bloody proper. Indeed not a few thick and thin wellwishers,
mostly of the clontarfminded class, (Colonel John Bawle ORoarke,
fervxamplus), even ventured so far as to loan or beg copies of D. Blayncys
trilingual triweekly, Scatterbrains Aftening Posht,so as to make
certain sure onetime and be satisfied of their quasicontribusodalitarians
having become genuinely quite [099] beetly dead whether by land whither
by water. Transocean atalaclamoured him; The latter! The latter! Shall
their hope then be silent or Macfarlane lack of lamentation? He lay under
leagues of it in deep Bartholomans Deep.
Achdung! Pozor! Attenshune! Vikeroy Besights
Smucky Yung Pigeschoolies. Tri Paisdinernes Eventyr Med Lochlanner Fathach
I Fiounnisgehaven. Bannalanna Bangs Ballyhooly Out Of Her Buddaree Of
A Bullavogue.
But, their bright little contemporaries
notwithstanding, on the morrowing morn of the suicidal murder of the unrescued
expatriate, aslike as asnake comes sliduant down that oaktree onto the
duke of beavers, (you may have seen some liquidamber exude exotic from
a balsam poplar at Parteenalax Limestone. Road and cried Abies Magnifica!
not, noble fir?) a quarter of nine, imploring his resipiency, saw the
infallible spike of smokes jutstiff punctual from the seventh gable
of our Quintus Centimachus porphyroid buttertower and then thirsty
p.m. with oaths upon his lastingness (En caecos harauspices! Annos longos
patimur!) the lamps of maintenance, beaconsfarafield innerhalf the zuggurat,
all brevetnamed, the wasting wyvern, the tawny of his mane, the swinglowswaying
bluepaw, the outstanding man, the lolllike lady, being litten for the
long (O land, how long!) lifesnight, with suffusion of fineglass transom
and leadlight panes.
Wherefore let it hardly by any being thinking
be said either or thought that the prisoner of that sacred edifice, were
he an Ivor the Boneless or an Olaf the Hide, was at his best a onestone
parable, a rude breathing on the void of to be, a venter hearing his own
bauchspeech in backwords, or, more strictly, but tristurned initials,
the cluekey to a worldroom beyond the roomwhorld, for scarce one, or pathetically
few of his dode canal sammenlivers cared seriously or for long to doubt
with Kurt Iuld van Dijke (the gravitational pull perceived by certain
fixed residents and the capture of uncertain comets chancedrifting through
our system suggesting an authenticitatem of his aliquitudinis) the canonicity
of his existence as a tesseract. Be still, O quick! Speak him dumb! Hush
ye fronds of Ulma! [100]
Dispersal women wondered. Was she fast?
Do tell us all about. As we want to hear
allabout. So tellus tellas allabouter. The why or whether she looked alottylike
like ussies and whether he had his wimdop like themses shut? Notes and
queries, tipbids and answers, the laugh and the shout, the ards and downs.
Now listed to one aneither and liss them down and smoothen out your leaves
of rose. The war is oer. Wimwim wimwim! Was it Unity Moore or Estella
Swifte or Varina Fay or Quarta Quaedam? Toemaas, mark oom for yor ounckel!
Pigeys, hold op med yer leg! Who, but who (for second time of asking)
was then the scourge of the parts about folkrich Lucalizod it was wont
to be asked, as, in ages behind of the Homo Capite Erectus, what price
Peabodys money, or, to put it bluntly, whence is the herringtons
white cravat, as, in epochs more cainozoic, who struck Buckley though
nowadays as thentimes every schoolfilly of sevenscore moons or more who
knowher intimologies and every colleen bawl aroof and every redflammelwaving
warwife and widowpeace upon Dublin Wall for ever knows as yayas is yayas
how it was Buckleyself (we need no blooding paper to tell it neither)
who struck and the Russian generals, da! da!, instead of Buckley who was
caddishly struck by him when be herselves. What fullpried paulpoison in
the spy of three castles or which hatefilled smileyseller? And that such
a vetriol of venom, that queens head affranchisant, a quiet stinkingplaster
zeal could cover, prepostered or postpaid! The loungelizards of the pumproom
had their nine days jeer, and pratschkats at their platschpails
too and holenpolendom beside, Szpaszpas Szpissmas, the zhanyzhonies, when,
still believing in her owenglass, when izarres were twinklins, that the
upper reaches of her mouthless face and her impermanent waves were the
better half of her, one nearer him, dearer than all, first warming creature
of his early morn, bondwoman of the man of the house, and murrmurr of
all the mackavicks, she who had given his eye for her bed and a tooth
for a child till one one and one ten and one hundred again, O me and O
ye! cadet and prim, the hungray and anngreen (and if she is older now
than her teeth she has hair that [101] is younger than thighne, my dear!)
she who shuttered him after his fall and waked him widowt sparing and
gave him keen and made him able and held adazillahs to each arche of his
noes, she who will not rast her from her running to seek him till, with
the help of the okeamic, some such time that she shall have been after
hiding the crumbends of his enormousness in the areyou lookingfor Pearlfar
sea, (ur, uri, uria!) stood forth, burnzburn the gorggony old danworld,
in gogors name, for gagars sake, dragging the countryside
in her train, finickin here and funickin there, with her louisequeans
brogues and her culunder buzzle and her litde bolero boa and all and two
times twenty curlicornies for her headdress, specks on her eyeux, and
spudds on horeilles and a circusfix riding her Parisiennes cockneze,
a vaunt her straddle from Equerry Egon, when Tinktink in the churchclose
clinked Steploajazzyma Sunday, Sola, with pawns, prelates and pookas pelotting
in her piecebag, for Handiman the Chomp, Esquoro, biskbask, to crush the
slanders head.
Wery weeny wight, plead for Morandmor!
Notre Dame de la Ville, mercy of thy balmheartzyheat! Ogrowdnyks
beyond herbata tay, wort of the drogist. Bulk him no bulkis. And let him
rest, thou wayfarre, and take no gravespoil from him! Neither mar his
mound! The bane of Tut is on it. Ware! But theres a little lady
waiting and her name is A.L.P. And youll agree. She must be she.
For her holden heirheaps hanging down her back. He spenth his strenth
amok haremscarems. Poppy Narancy, Giallia, Chlora, Marinka, Anileen, Parme.
And ilk a those dames had her rainbow huemoures yet for whilko her whims
but he coined a cure. Tifftiff today, kissykissy tonay and agelong pine
tomauranna. Then who but CrippledwithChildren would speak up for DroppingwithSweat?
Sold him her lease of ninenineninetee,
Tresses undresses so dyedyedaintee,
Goo, the groot gudgeon, gulped it all.
Hoo was the C. O. D.?
Bum!
[102]
At Island Bridge she met her tide.
Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!
The Fin had a flux and his Ebba a ride.
Attabom, attabom, attabombomboom!
Were all up to the years in hues and cribies.
Thats what shes done for wee! |
Woe!
Nomad may roam with Nabuch but let naaman
laugh at Jordan! For we, we have taken our sheet upon her stones where
we have hanged our hearts in her trees; and we list, as she bibs us, by
the waters of babalong.
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