Swiftian horrors: 'That which gave me most Uneasiness among these Maids of Honour, when my Nurse carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any Manner of Ceremony, like a Creature who had no Sort of consequence. For, they would strip themselves to the Skin, and put on their Smock in my presence, while I was placed on their Toylet directly before their naked Bodies; which, I am sure, to me was very from from being a tempting Sight, or from giving me any Motions that those of Horror and Digust. Their Skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured when I say them near, with a Mole here and there as broad as a Trencher, and Hairs hanging from it thicker than Pack-threads; to say nothing further concering the rest of their Persons. Neither did they at all scruple while I was by, to discharge what they had drunk, to the Quantity of at least two Hogsheads, in a Vessel that held above three Tuns. The handsomest among these Maids of Honour, a [115] pleasant frolicsome Girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her Nipples; with many other Tricks, wherein the Reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But, I was so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some Excuse for not seeing that Lady any more.’ ("A Voyage to Lilliput", Nonesuch Edn., 1934, pp.115-16; there follows an account of the execution of a criminal by decapitation.] 'He [the King of Brobdingnag] was perfectly astonished with the historical Account I gave him of our Affairs during the last Century; protesting it was only a Heap of Conspiracies, Rebellions, Murders, Massacres, Revolutions, Banishments; the very worst Effects of Avarice, Faction, Hypocrisy, Perfidiousness, Cruelty, Rage, Madness, Hatred, Envy, Lust, Malice, and Ambition could produce. [...] “I cannot but conclude",’ says the King, “[that] the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the face of the earth."’ (pp.130-31.)

Laputa: ‘If any Town should engage in Rebellion or Mutiny, fall into violent Factions, or refuse to pay the usual Tribute; the King hath two Methods of reducing them to Obedience. The first and the mildest Course is by keeping the Island hovering over such a Town, and the Lands about it; whereby he can deprive them of the Benefit of the Sun and the Rain, and consequently afflict the Inhabitants with Dearth and Diseases. And if the Crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted from above with great Stones, against which they have no Defence, but by creeping into Cellars or Caves, while the Roofs of their Houses are beaten to Pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise Insurrections; he proceeds to the last Remedy, by letting the Island drop directly upon their Heads, which makes a universal Destruction both of Houses and Men. However, this is an Extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in Execution; nor dare his Ministers advise him to an Action, which as it would render them odious to the People, so it would be a great Damage to their own Estates that lie all below; for the Island is the King’s Demesn[e].’ ("A Voyage to the Laputa"; ibid., p.167.)

On Yahoos: ‘I never beheld in all my Travels so disagreeable an animal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong an Antipathy.’ ("A Voyage to the Houyhnhms", ibid., p.218.)

‘My Horror and Astonishment are not to be described when I observed, in this abominable Animal, a perfect human Figure; the Face of it indeed was flat and broad, the Nose depressed, the Lips large, and the Mouth wide: But these Differences are common to all savage Nations, where the Lineaments of the Countenance are distorted by the Natives suffering their Infants to lie grovelling on the Earth, or by carrying them on their Backs, nuzzling with their Face against the Mother’s Shoulders. [...]’ (p.224.) 'He replied that I must needs be mistaken, or that I said the thing which was not .’ (p.229.)

Humans/Houyhnhms: ‘I therefore told my Master , that in the Country from whence I came, those of my Kind always covered their Bodies with the Hairs of certain Animals prepared by Art, as well for Decency, as to avoid Inclemencies of Air both hot and cold; of which, as to my own Person I would give him immediate Conviction, if he pleased to command me; only desiring his Excuse, if I did not expose those Parts that Nature taught us to conceal. He said, my Discourse was all very strange, but especially the last Part; for he could not understand why Nature should teach us to conceal what Nature had given. That neither himself nor his Family were ashamed of any Parts of their Bodies; but however I might do as I pleased. Whereupon, I first unbuttoned my Waste-coat [...] My master observed the whole Performance [Gulliver’s undressing] with great Signs of Curiosity and Admiration. He took up all my Cloaths in his Pastern, one Piece after another, and examined them all diligently; he then stroaked my Body very gently, and looked round me several Times; after which he said, it was plain I must be a perfect Yahoo; but that I differed very much from the rest of my Species, in the Whiteness, and Smoothness of my Skin, my want of Hair in several Parts of my Body, the Shape and Shortness of my Claws behind and before, and my Affectation of walking continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave to put my Cloaths again, for I was shuddering with Cold.’ (p.231.)

Humans/Yahoos: ‘I expressed my Uneasiness at his giving me so often the Appellation of Yahoo, an odious Animal, for which I had so utter an Hatred and Contempt. I begged he would forbear applying the word to me, and take the same Order [231] in his Family, and among his Friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, that the Secret of my having a false Covering to my Body might be know to none but himself, at least as long as my present Cloathing should last.’ (pp.231-32.)

Gulliver tells of human ways (I): ‘Differences of Opinions hath cost many Millions of lives: For Instance, whether Flesh be Bread, or Bread be Flesh: Whether the Juice of a certain Berry be Blood or Wine: Whether Whistling is a Vice or a Virtue: Whether it be better to kiss a Post, or throw it in the fire [...].’ (p.240; italics mine.)

Gulliver tells of human ways (II): ‘It is a very justifiable Cause of War to invade a Country after the People have been wasted by Famine, destroyed by Pestilence, or embroiled by Factions among themselves. It is justiable to enter into War against our nearest Ally, when one of his Towns lies convenient to us, or a Territory of Land that would render our Dominions round and complete. If a Prince sends Forces into a Nation, where the People are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully put half of them to Death, and make Slaves of the rest, in order to civilise and reduce them from their barbarous Way of living. It is a very kingly, honourable, and frequent Practice, when one Prince desiresthe assisstance of another to secure him against an Invasion, that the Assistant, whne he hath driven out the Invader, should seize on the Dominions [240] himself, and kill, imprison or banish the Prince he came to relieve. Allyance of Blood or Marriage, is a sufficient Cause of War between Princes; and the nearer the Kindred is, the greater is their Disposition to quarrel: poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud; and Pride and Hunger will ever be at Variance. For these Reasons, the Trade of a Soldier is held the most honourable of all others: Because a Soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill in cold Blood as many of his own Species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can.’ (pp.240-41.)

Gulliver tells of human ways (III): ‘I was going on to more Particulars, when my Master commanded me Silence. He said, whoever understood the Nature of Yahoos might easily believe it possible for so vile an Animal, to be capable of every Action I had named, if their Strength and Cunning equalled their Malice. But, as my Discourse had increased his Abhorrence of the whole Species, so he found it gave him a Disturbance in his Mind, to which he was wholly a Stranger before. He thought his Ears being used to such abominable Words, might by Degrees admit them with less Detestation. That, although he hated the, Yahoos of this Country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious Qualities, than he did a Gnnayh (a Bird of Prey) for its Cruelty, or a sharp Stone for cutting his Hoof. But, when a Creature pretending to Reason, could be capable of such Enormities, he dreaded lest the Corruption of that Faculty might be worse than Brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that instead of Reason, we were only possessed of some Quality fitted to increase our natural Vices; as the Reflection from a troubled Stream returns the Image of an ill-shapen Body, not only larger, but more distorted.’ (p.242.)

Houyhnhm reason: ‘[T]hey have no Conception how a rational Creature can be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no Person can disobey Reason, without giving up his Claim to be a rational Creature.’ (p.275.)

Back at home [Gulliver’s return]: 'During the first Year I could not endure my Wife or children in my Presence, the very Smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the same Room.’ (p.285.)

On British colonies: ‘But I had another Reason which made me less forward to enlarge His Majesty’s Dominions by my Discoveries: To say the Truth, I had conceived a few Scruples with relatioin to the distributive Justice of Princes upon those Occasions. [...] They see an harmless People, are entertained with Kindness, they give a Country a new Name, they take formal Possession of it for the King, they set up a rotten Plank or a Stone for a Memorial, they murder two or three dozen of the Natives, bring away a Couple more by Force for a Sample, return home, and get their Pardon [as pirates]. Here commences a new [289] dominion acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity; th enatives are driven out or destroyed, their princes tortured to discover their gold; a free licence given to all acts of inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers employed in so pious an expedition, is a modern colony sent to convert and civilise an idolatrous and barbarous people.
 But this description, I confess, doth by no means affect the British nation, who may be an Example to the whole World for their Wisdom, Care, and Justice in planting Colonies; the liberal Endowments for the Advancement of Religion and Learning; their choice of devout and able Pastors to propagate Christianity ; their Caution in stocking the Provinces with People of sober Lives and Conversations from this Mother Kingdom; their Strict Regard to the Distribution of Justice, in supplying the Civil Administration through all their Colonies with Officers of the greatest Abilities, utter Strangers to Corruption: and to crown all, by sending the most vigilant and virtuous Governors, who have no other Views than the Happiness of the People over whom they preside, and the Honour of the King their Master. / But as those Countries which I have described do not appear to have any Desire of being conquered, or enslaved, murdered or driven out by the Colonies; nor abound either in Gold, Silver, Sugar or Tobacco; I did humby conceive they were by no Means proper Objects of our Zeal, our Valour, or our Interest.’ (Chap. XII; p.289-90.)

Happy ending: ‘I began last week to permit my Wife to sit at Dinner with me, at the farthest End of a long Table; and to answer (but with the utmost Brevity) the few Questions I asked her. Yet the Smell of a Yahoo continuing very offensive, I always keep my Nose well stopt with Rue, Lavender, or Tobacco-Leaves. And although it be hard for a Man late in Life to remove old Habits; I am not altogether out of Hopes in some Time to suffer a Neighbour Yahoo in my Company, without the Apprehensions I am yet under of his Teeth or his Claws.’ (p.291.)